November 14, 2003



The votes are in and boy was this a close one:

Helen's Vote: Pylorns

Oh God. I seriously totally hate this.

I gotta' vote against Pylorns.

And actually? I feel really bad about it.

The reason I am motioning to remove him is BECAUSE he is a nice guy. That's right. I guess it's true-nice guys finish last (I see a blog post about that somewhere). Basically-he hates Jeff too, and I know he will try to help out the cool survivors, because he does have a big heart and he does read all of our blogs regularly and has done for a while (he's been a reg on mine for several months now.)

I'm going to burn in hell and I know it and I feel awful about it.

Jeff's Vote: Pylorns

I definitely vote for pylorns... He's the sort of guy that eats the last of the ice cream in the fridge and leaves the box in there. He's been sowing dissent oin me since day one, and If it wasn't for him, I could've made friends with these people. He claims:

"you're going down Jeff!"

- I really hope not, plyons. My goal is to stay in as long as I can, and have fun competing, The bets part is seeing If I can remember to enter all of the challeneges since I spend 60% of my life drunk or stoned.

"vote for My entry not Jeffs"

- Only 4 people voted for yours. That should show you how little traffic I get, ployos.

"Bring that big ole' stick big boy"

- I actually prefer a spring loaded cudgel, plyers. More on the quiet side, so that I can sneak up on pompous idiots *cough* and whack them in silence.

"we were beaten by an old song that was remade"

- I'm not the first one to remake that song, and anyway, I think mine's the best remake yet. Ha, ploughons!

"by a wanker who carries a baseball bat"

- I'm not a wanker. I'm a tosser. Get it right, pythos.

"he drank the last of the JD and then he busted the bottle on the pepsi machine"

- No I didn't. I'm strictly a Jim Beam and Coke kind of guy. Bringin' some Jimmy to France with me to show the locals how to drink. Polygon, maybe YOU drank all the JD.

So that's why I'm voting for him, and simultaneously crossing him off the list of castaways that might vote pro-Jeff in the future.

The rest of the competitors are worthy.

Jim's Vote: Pylorns

I vote to remove Jeff! Yeah, I know that he has immunity but you can change the rules any time you want for any reason, right? Just whack his immunity and ship him off the island. Or let him swim home using his busted stick as a flotation device.

Okay, okay. I'll give you a real vote for the eviction proceedings. This is rough. I have to look out for myself and that means that Pylorns has to go. It's not the best for the game itself as he's definitely the most involved player but it's the best for my selfish ass. He, Jeff and I are the only guys and the bare fact of the matter is that a guy is most likely to try to vote me off of the island. Steroid conflict, know what I mean? Every guy would be angling to being alone in the tropics with 3 lovely ladies to himself. Unless he's been pussified, of course.

So to protect my own sand encrusted butt I'm casting my vote against Pylorns. Sorry, dude. I'd do it differently if I wasn't a totally self absorbed cow addict but needs must do as desires dictate.

Emily's Vote: Pylorns

I donít like having to vote against anyone. However, Iím all about keeping the girls on the island since, letís face it; theyíre really cute girls. So, that leaves two men to choose from. I was all ready to vote for that udder sucker, Jim, but all he ever did was love on the cattle. However, Pylorns has recently exposed his mean side by declaring, ďFuck the caribou in Alaska. Move them somewhere else and drill for oil. Club a baby seal, and cut down trees so I can wipe my ass with toilet paper.Ē This behavior simply cannot be rewarded. It is a terrible shame since we all know that Pylorns is by far the most entertaining Survivor in the group. It is especially painful for me to vote for him since heís a fellow Texan, not to mention that leaves me on the island with a cow fucker, a bat wielding psycho, a cheese lover and wanton sex writer. Okay, maybe the sex writer isnít so bad.

Lee Ann's vote: Pylorns

My vote for the Suvivor to leave the island is Pylorns. Firstly, there's this whole name... Pylorns. Let's break that down. Py, which is little more than "pi" misspelled. I hate math. Pi is one of the standards upon which math hangs its nasty, snot-encrusted flag. And what's more pretentious than a buttload of decimal points stringing behind like some numerary posse?

That leaves "Lorns". Now, that's just sheer greed, to need more than one "Lorn". Did "Bonanza" have more than one Lorn? NO. And what's good enough for Hoss is good enough for America. Also, when you think "lorn" you think "for".

And I am not for Pylorns winning this thing.

I am against it.

It's just good clean semantics, is all.

I vote we boot Pylorns.

Pylorn's vote: Lee Ann

Ok my vote is for LeeAnn. I know if I was smart (or am I just cunning?) I would try to vote off Helen or Emily, they are the true challenges, but then if I did there wouldn't be as much interesting shit happening. I'm not going to vote for Jim, I like his cow.. er no I don't.. My only real reason for voting for LeeAnn is that she hasn't put much up on her site, she hasn't much commented and got into the game. Everyone else has at least gotten into the game, posted a bit on their sites and commented on the main site.

Has anyone ever done this before? Not that I know of.. but if we are gonig to play a game that mimicks the TV show there has to be something to read, mud to be slung. I don't see anything coming her way to any of us. Thus, I must vote off LeeAnn, best of luck, who knows I could get voted for tomorrow anyway.

Final Vote Tally:

Pylorns - 5
Lee Ann - 1

Pylorns, it was nice having you here but you are OFF THE ISLAND! Please email me with you final comments by the end of the day.

Posted by Don at November 14, 2003 10:25 AM | TrackBack


*snort* Could it be I felt it better to leave Survivor posts and comments to the Survivor page? I have the logo, I have the list of Survivors.
Pfft, and here, in true Survivor fashion, I am defending my actions to the very end.
I'm leaving wiggle-room, though... I might write a scathing, pithy Survivor post tomorrow or the day after... :)
Never assume.

Posted by: LeeAnn at November 14, 2003 10:43 AM

GOOD! I didn't like Pylorns anyway.

Posted by: Victor at November 14, 2003 10:49 AM

Well, i'm off to go get trashed for the weekend. You should all talk about me as much as possible while I'm away, it'll make you all feel better. Here, I'll get you started. Did you hear that that Jeff guy has a history of killing hookers? And that he's a compulsive gargler? And that he can't drive cause his left arm is cut off at the elbow due to an amish girlfriend and a harvesting machine?

Posted by: Jeff at November 14, 2003 10:50 AM

Lol.. LeeAnn..

Posted by: pylorns at November 14, 2003 10:55 AM

Sure, Jeff. An Amish girlfriend and a harvesting machine. Like you could get an Amish girlfriend. Speh.

Posted by: Jim at November 14, 2003 11:10 AM

Hey, following Helen's logic I'm a shoe in for winning this thing. If nice guys finish last then evil ones should finish first, right? Well, Don already established that I am completely evil and Helen herself verified that. Sweet.

So ladies, you may now begin throwing yourselves at me and offering me various naughty bribes in order to curry my favor thus allowing you to be the last lovely on my island. My tropical queen, as it were.

Posted by: Jim at November 14, 2003 11:14 AM

Jim, oh poor Jim. Don't you realize that it's you that should be begging us girls to let you stay?

Posted by: emily at November 14, 2003 12:01 PM

I'll do that in private, Emily. The masses must be subjected to my overconfident bravado.

Ratings, dear Emily. Think ratings.

Posted by: Jim at November 14, 2003 12:03 PM

Oh, pylorns. I'm sorry, and I DO feel terrible.

As compensation, maybe I should send you some nudie pics I have of me. Will that help? :)

Posted by: Helen at November 14, 2003 12:14 PM

Sure that'll work. And it'll help your chances in the end... remember.. the voted off vote for the last 2..

Posted by: pylorns at November 14, 2003 12:23 PM

Can't we all get in on the nudie pics? I mean, Pylorn lost - he shouldn't be rewarded for that :-)

Posted by: Daniel at November 14, 2003 02:56 PM

Actually, jim, I guess she was a mennonite. Sorry 'bout the mix-up. Hey Helen, you said that plowons hate me TOO. Does that mean you hate me? Even though you like Sean Connery and blowing up stuff too? Meh. I guess a woman's scorn is OK when she lives in Scandinavia. But Helen, only girls that are nice to me, like Emily, get to use the Sawed-Off Shotgun.

Posted by: Jeff at November 14, 2003 03:02 PM

Jim...if you were really evil, the only bribes that would concern you would be (a) souls (b) first born children and (c) Pop Tarts. Okay, I made that last one up but I just think Pop Tarts are silly. Yeah. Anyway.

Posted by: Don at November 15, 2003 09:58 AM

What happened to the 2nd immunity assignment? I thought it would be assigned yesterday?

Posted by: emily at November 15, 2003 11:52 AM

Emily...yeah...sorry about that...I'll get to it soon. Promse! Just that it's been a wild Friday/Saturday. Expect something.

Pylorns....sorry buddy. You still remain one of my favorite readers/commenters. Feel free to yell at everyone via the comments section.

Okay, time for me to return to real life...that is, enjoying the beach and thinking of sexy chicks who don't like me...except for Helen, who lives much to far away.

I guess there's only one solution. Visit her in Sweden or she visits me her. Fund raiser drive on the way!

Posted by: Don at November 15, 2003 12:26 PM

Jeff-I don't hate you, I don't hate anyone (ok-let me clarify. I don't hate anyone in the blog world. I hate lots of real-life people.)

And I used to own a 20 guage, so when can I play with your big gun? :)

Don-glad to know I count as a sexy chick. Maybe you can have a nudie pic too. Oh wait-I already sent you one...

Posted by: Helen at November 15, 2003 12:33 PM

Sometimes it's nice to be hated... but not in the blogosphere. Helen, a .30-06 is the biggest thing i have, unless you want to borrow something from my Dad... I think we have a nice model in 7.62mm... You're welcome to come try it, you crazy Kanso-Swede. But if you do, I'd need a nudie pic in exchange. Emily: Don't remind me, I'm having too much fun at home... check out the blog for a picture of my weekend project. Greetings from Suburbia, you'ins.

Posted by: Jeff at November 15, 2003 01:57 PM

I actually wanted to ask where was the immunity assignment around Friday at 5:15, but I thought... what if the assignment is to NOT ask about it? What if it's a patience test?
So I ducttaped my fingers together and waited.

Posted by: LeeAnn at November 16, 2003 11:11 AM

Yeah. You are really on the fuckage end of the stick here if there is a time difference.

There are only so many excuses I can make to Partner Unit for logging in before he becomes a really nosy bastard and/or calls the CIA to find out what I am up to.

Posted by: Helen at November 16, 2003 01:39 PM

I vote for Rupert to receive the million dollars.

Posted by: Joanne at May 10, 2004 07:41 PM

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