June 21, 2004

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Immunity III entries

Entry #1:

"The Bamboo exploded as the lightning hit it. Shards of bamboo went
everywhere hitting some of the survivors," read _______. “The end.”

The surivor co-hosts, Jim and Pylorns, and the rest of the Survivors sat around, stunned looks on their faces. They looked at each other, then burst out laughing. “Nope,” Jim told the hapless survivor. “Try again, and this time,” and he stopped, a smile on his face. “This time, don’t try so hard.” Jim turned to the rest of the Survivors. "Let’s go get a beer.”

The Survivor looked a piece of blank paper. “I’ll try something new,” s/he muttered to himself, and began writing:

"The Bamboo exploded as the lightning hit it. Shards of bamboo went everywhere hitting some of the survivors…”


Entry #2:

"The Bamboo exploded as the lightning hit it. Shards of bamboo went everywhere hitting some of the survivors. "
"Boom", went the bamboo.

"Ouch", said some of the survivors.

Victor frowned as he typed furiously into his laptop. The new novel was not going well at all and he was starting to feel the pressure. He knew that his trip to fame was going to be this book, which he had tenatively titled, "The Survivor Diet: How To Stay Fit and Trim While Eating Only Rice and Your Fellow Competitors". His problems went farther than the writing of the book. He was also going to have to leavn cannibalism, too. This was just not his day.

Lemur Girl petted her pet bull and smiled as she watched Victor. Her furious glee at voting off Dizzy Girl still warmed her heart but her next plot was going to enshrine her in the Survivor Hall of Fame. All she needed was to get her hands on two lengths of twine, a llama, and a five inches of PVC pipe. Then she'd show everyone. She giggled at the thought.

Lynn heard Lemur Girl's giggling and peered around from behind the tree. She was still tied there. She had called and called for help, but her fellow islanders were either not hearing her or just plain ignoring her. Well, at least Victor was ignoring her, she was sure, since he had stopped by to tell her that Bamboo was a grass and not a tree. He didn't seem to appreciate her description of what she'd do with the grass and certain parts of his anatomy when she got free. She yelled for help again - hoping.

Jimmie stretched and looked up at the darkening sky. He supposed it was about time to cut Lynn down. He figured that some bondage was okay, but there really was a limit. He weathered Lynn's withering glare as he approached but was more pleased to see her smile as he cut her loose. He helped her stand up as she massaged some feeling back into her wrists and ankles and they made their way back to the shelters. Another clap of thunder boomed, making both of them wince and move faster toward the shelters when suddenly...

"The Bamboo exploded as the lightning hit it. Shards of bamboo went everywhere hitting some of the survivors. "


Entry #3:
The Bamboo exploded as the lightning hit it. Shards of bamboo went everywhere hitting some of the survivors. I ducked as a particularly large piece flew over my head and landed in the sand a few feet away. Everyone was in a state of shock. The storm had come from nowhere and we knew that as abruptly as it had arrived, it would disappear again. I ran over to the others to make sure they were ok and not too badly injured. The worst damage was a deep laceration to one of the guys arms but we quickly bound it with a sarong and seaweed. Not terribly hygienic but it’s the best we could do under the circumstances.

Once the chaos had died down I stepped away to look at the storm still raging above us. I swear it was one of the most beautiful things I have ever seen. The clouds were dark and low, menacing us with their deep rumbles of discontent. Every few seconds they were illuminated by a sheet of lightning, which passed from cloud to cloud. Out to sea the waves were huge, crashing down on one another and then reaching higher again, as if they wanted to merge with the sky. Lightning forked down and found anchor in the turbulent waters.

I turned to look at what remained of the bamboo tree. A burning skeleton greeted me, the orange flames whipped into a frenzy by the surrounding storm and framed magnificently against the ever darkening sky. I stared at it, wanting to capture this image in my memory forever, as I knew it was something I’d probably never see again. I was snapped out of my reverie by the others calling at me to get inside. Reluctantly, I turned by back on the storm and went over to where they were huddled.

The storm woke something inside of me. I wanted to dance in the sand with the rain falling around me. I wanted to sing with the sea and shout with the wind. As my hair whipped across my face I gazed again at the beauty of the storm. As I stared I knew that even if I get voted off, I know that I have seen one of natures truest miracles. Nothing will be able to match the beauty of this tropical storm, and in years to come I will still dream of a burning tree against a raging sky.

Entry #4:

“The Bamboo exploded as the lightning hit it. Shards of bamboo went everywhere hitting some of the survivors.” *Thinks to self: That’s worse than the original challenge. I’ll stick with the first one, thank you very much.*

The Bamboo tree split in two as the lightning ran through it and fell on the remaining survivors, crushing them to death and putting them out of their smelly misery. No, too final. The Bamboo tree split in two as the lightning ran through it, turning the entire island into a blistering inferno and forcing the contestants to evacuate to the nearby day spa. No, too fiery.

"Hey! Stop daydreaming! We finally tapped the keg. Are you coming or what?"

It seems that my arrival to the party was a little late. It turns out that Pylorns tapped the keg for us but he also drank most of the beer. As I walked into the clearing, I could see Pylorns staggering around the fire, waving our flare gun.

"You guys are pathetic! You suck! Your entries are too verbose. What kind of writers are you? And what's up with all of this lovey-dovey stuff? You're too nice! Do you hear me? TOO VERBOSE AND TOO NICE! What do I have to do to put the fear of Pylorns into you?"

Pylorns aimed the flare gun into the fire pit but slipped as he was about to shoot, sending our only flare high into the sky just as a plane passed over. As luck would have it, this happened to be the plane that, if correctly signalled, would take two of us off the island for a day to enjoy a real meal and a hot shower. However, Lady Luck is fickle and there would be no reward for us today. Pylorns lurched towards the plane and got on board while cursing our ineptitude.

It’s been pretty quiet around here since Pylorns left. If he doesn’t come back maybe Lee Ann can take over, (or at least charter us a way out of here).


Let the voting commenc:


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Posted by Pylorns at June 21, 2004 08:28 PM | TrackBack

Comments

Once again, excellent entries everyone! I wonder which one Dizzy Girl will vote for?

Posted by: Lynn at June 21, 2004 08:41 PM

Welp. Looks like I'm *well* on my way to dead last again.

Posted by: Victor at June 22, 2004 07:25 AM

Wow! Truly all excellent this time. I really don't know which one to vote for. I'll have to let it soak and come back later.

Posted by: Jim at June 22, 2004 08:24 AM

I didn't know i had any furious glee at voting Dizzy Girl off...

I do have a very evil giggle when i put my mind to it though...

Posted by: Lemurgirl at June 22, 2004 09:06 AM

Does no one recoginize mild sarcasm and ironic exaggeration when it shows up in writing?

No one at all??

Posted by: Jimmie at June 22, 2004 09:25 AM

We're all literalists here, Jimmie.

No, really. We tried hyperbole once and it threw us for such a loop that we all swore off the use of any satirical methods.

Posted by: Jim at June 22, 2004 02:36 PM

*#@&! Will someone just untie me already?! The joke is getting old ;-)

Posted by: Lynn at June 22, 2004 04:59 PM

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