December 04, 2003

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Immunity III Vote

Ok, Don has given me the login and password to this, but I've never used it.. so it looks different than the other voting, just click on the button. I havenn't had time to go through and figure it out because I had a hot date at lunch. Extend the entry to read them by clicking on "Another Round"

Bonus votes: LeeAnn =5. Emily =5.

Free Vote Caster from Bravenet
Free Vote Caster from Bravenet

Entry 1:
I was all set to write up a devilishly evil punishment for our perenially tardy host. In fact, I was in the process of merging several extremely nasty items, putting them through the crucible of fire and hammering them into a deadly sword of Don slaying. And then I got an idea. A perfectly wonderful, awful idea. Then I realized that my shoes were several sizes too tight so I took them off.

But the idea stuck! Yes, it would be extremely gratifying to humiliate, villify and virtually whip Don. But wouldn't it be oh so delicious to have him do it to himself?

So, my suggestion for Don's punishment is this: At the completion of our contest, Don will write up The Story of Survivor Island, in the "bloggers in a story" format that he does so well. In this story he will cast himself as the cruel, manipulating overseer of the island. But each of his plots (1 for each eliminated player) will be foiled by his tardiness in executing his plans. He'll have to think of some happenstance that occured to eliminate each player as his plots cannot have a direct effect on them.

The kicker is that for each time Don was late posting something according to the Survivor schedule, he must include an embarrassing real world item that he has not previously revealed (worked into the story, of course). Embarassing for him, that is.

This way we're all compensated for having to wait on his late ass by getting a humorous read and Don is punished by having to do all of the work plus there's additional incentive for him to stop being late for the rest of the game.

I go now to cackle in evil glee and dread anticipation.

Mwah hah hah! Mwah hah hah hah! Mwah hah hah hah hah hah hah hah!

UPDATE: Recent events demand a bit of alteration here. As Don isn't running Survivor any longer he obviously can't acrue additional punishment for being late. Therefor, for each future late posting by the new hostmaster, Don will include something humorous or deprecating about Pylorns. Don's embarassing moments to include are capped at the number of postings he was late when he was hostmaster.

Entry 2:
A proper punishment for Don, eh?

Don, immobilized a la "Clockwork Orange", must watch hours and hours of
porn... porn featuring only Michael Moore, Joan Rivers, and Rosie O' Donnell.

Entry 3:
I would love nothing more than to suggest that we crucify Don in the most
painful and embarrassing manner possible, but sadly, he lives 1407 miles
from me and I just don't have time to drive that far. Otherwise, I would
deliver on something really good. I even have a book on torture. My very favoriteis one where the victim is tied up and hungry rats are placed on his stomach underneath a big heavy bowl. Fire is then applied to the bowl, forcing
the rats to burrow through the person to get out of the bowl and away from the
heat. Mwuhahhaha!

Obviously this isn't feasible, so I would like to suggest this alternate
punishment. Don must post this entry on "Anger Management" everyday for a
week between 8:55 a.m. and 9:05 a.m. (EST):

"Hello. My name is Don Watkins and I am a schmuck. I have less
dedication and loyalty to 'Survivor: Blogosphere Edition' than a dog in heat. I have mistakenly valued hookers and blow over the previous commitment I have
made to my game and because of this the players and the entire audience has
suffered. I have taken all the joy and fun out of the game. It has not been fair to
the wonderful, kind, patient and intellectually superior participants of the
game. I am ashamed. To prove my renewed conviction and dedication to the game I will post this entry every single morning for the next 7 days on between 8:55 a.m. and 9:05 a.m. (EST). If at
any time I fail to meet this deadline, I will pay restitution to the original
six survivors, Helen, Jeff, Pylorns, LeeAnn, Emily and Jim in the amount of
$50 each."

Posted by Pylorns at December 4, 2003 01:00 PM | TrackBack


Damn. 5 votes behind before the poll even opens. Crapola.

Guess I'll have to put the fix in!

Posted by: Jim at December 4, 2003 01:38 PM

Wow... is entry 1 really that much better than the other two?

Posted by: emily at December 4, 2003 02:30 PM

I kind of like the rat idea myself. But substitute a bag of mink in heat.

Hey, I'm kinky that way.

Posted by: Jim at December 4, 2003 02:32 PM

A rabid wolverine, to be placed in his trousers.
And five personal Cheese points to anyone who knows where that came from. :)

Posted by: LeeAnn at December 4, 2003 05:21 PM

"I leave not a Wiffle Bat to the head, but a rabid wolverine to be placed in his trousers."

Posted by: Jim at December 4, 2003 06:50 PM

A boot to the head, but yes! I bought an entire double CD just for that routine, btw.
I must confess, however, that I have no idea what Cheesy points are.

Posted by: LeeAnn at December 4, 2003 06:57 PM

I have a confession too. I have no idea where it is from. I googled it.

I've got one consolation though - I don't live 1407 miles from Don so I'll be able to go see the rats / minks / wolverines perform.

Posted by: Jim at December 4, 2003 08:03 PM

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